Annoying Arabs to Avoid: The Arab Straw-Feminist, The Female Version

The Arab Straw-Feminist is another subspecies that inhabits the Middle East and North Africa, its natural habitat being her room in her parents’ house, and her main source of nourishment is Facebook likes. She is an odd creature, functioning at the most basic level of human intellect, and scientists are still searching the original home of this subspecies, with some suggesting it came from between the pages of a crappy Ahlam Mustaghanmi novel and then spread to the rest of the region.

The men of her country and Arab men at large are the target of her internalized racism, and she does not miss an opportunity to ridicule them and hold them against white cute men in the West as a standard.

The Arab Straw-Feminist is not familiar with feminist theory, nor does she know such esteemed figures like bill hooks, Audre Lord, or Angela Davis. The term Intersectional Feminism is alien to her, and she is not well-acquainted with the feminist scene in the West or elsewhere, instead opting to post quasi-feminist videos removed out of context on her Facebook page, using them to glorify a West she does not know beyond Hollywood movies.

And in the true spirit of straw people, she is out of touch with reality. This manifests itself in her inability to analyze the socio-economic and political reality of the society around her unless she falls back on orientalist stereotypes, since her feminism, like everything else about her intellect, is imported.

And since she has not had one original thought in her life, and does not really understand how feminism works, she attempts to persuade men into her side of the fight by amplifying what true manliness is like, such as saying true men do not hit women, or true men help their female friends and relatives, or true men are those who appreciate women, and the like.

The Arab Straw-Feminist whines all day long about ‘Eastern’ men. This blob of Eastern Men is characterized by inherent backwardness, savagery, lustfulness, and general stupidity. To her, the ‘Eastern Man’ is irredeemable unless he interacts with the ‘developed’ West, and learns from it how to be civilized and love women.

This brings us to the hugely popular category of the ‘Eastern Man’. The Arab Straw-Feminist tends to avoid specifying who this man is exactly, but her audience recognizes she means Arabs, and similar people in surrounding areas.

It is not unusual for this subspecies to adopt a cool behavior in cases of conflict and impending threat from outside ‘Eastern’ forces, such as sexist comments, so she will not be accused of irrationality and emotional outbursts typical of women in her area.

She happily devotes her internet connection to hate on Arab men, and exercise her internalized, unexamined prejudices against them. The Arab Straw-Feminist would also not mind siding with any foreign, developed Western elements against the men of her country, because after all, they need the push.

The pages of the many Arab Straw-Feminists tend to parrot one another, so following only one page is enough to give you an idea of the fast rate at which this subspecies is growing in numbers. Their main defense mechanism is headache-inducing Facebook posts that have proven their effectiveness in rebelling enemies of greater intellect and empathy.

Scientists studying this fascinating phenomena have mapped out the ways in which to avoid the Arab Straw-Feminist:

-Extermination. Cut off her internet connection, though in some circles this method is considered insensitive and socially unacceptable, and could fall into the realm of fighting free speech. Please adopt all levels of precaution before doing this, and think of the poor Arab man who will be accused of this deed and held at trial on charge of his Arabness and Easterness in the courts of the Union of Arab Straw-Feminists.

-Reality Brick on the Head. Bring her to visit America, and find her a job at an abortion clinic working undercover somewhere in the Bible Belt. And while you’re at it, make sure she is subjected to racial profiling, orientalism, sexual harassment, catcalling, and slut-shaming. Last but not least, assign her to write an insider’s report in Arabic about the struggles of black women and other minorities in the frame of white feminism that she so happily adopts, and encourage her to join a support group for liberated American women who had experienced the trauma of rape.

-Books. The easiest and less extreme option is to simply gift her with books dealing with actual feminism, and keep her updated on the most recent news of the many faces of feminism all over the globe.

We would like to assure you that the Arab Straw-Feminist is not evil, she is simply a snob who is misguided, misinformed, and seriously out of the loop. This does not mean that she cannot evolve out of her shell, -despite increasing evidence against this claim- on the contrary, she is definitely capable of learning from her mistakes, though the option of extermination remains preferable in cases of extreme frustration.


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